Weighty Wendesday!

Weight 317.0  -.9 lbs
Neck 16"  same 
Bust 43.5"  +.5" 
Waist 48"  same 
Hips 58"  -.25" 
Arm 20"  same 
Thigh 32"  same
Calf 21"  same

Total weight loss .9 pounds
Total inches -.25"

Since Start May 6th (new on 1st Wed of the month I will do a from beginning and a from month)
-.4 pounds
-6 inches

Need to work on pounds but 6" is pretty nice to see!

What It's Like Overweight...

I know alot of people do not have sympathy for fat people and believe me I get it.  Most people ate themselves huge and who can they blame but themselves?  Some people are just bigger no matter what they do, but by 20 pounds not 100s.  I have never been the stereotypical fat person.  I didn't sit around all day stuffing my face with cake or eating three pizzas.  I ate more then other people I realized eventually but I just usually didn't feel full.  Even now I rarely feel full but I feel satisfied.  When I was pregnant I ate a lot of sweets and that has carried over too now but not tons.  When I used to get depressed or sad I would eat a lot but only if it was there.  If I made a pan of brownies I could and usually did eat the pan by the end of the day.  If I had promised my then boyfriend brownies I would make another pan and pretend I never made the first one.  I was really in a strange place with eating for awhile and then I went to the extreme end and stopped eating and now I'm trying to do things the right (and very slow) way.

Back on topic what is it like for us fatties.  Everything is about what you can't do.  When I go places with chairs in the waiting room I wonder can I sit there?  We went out to lunch today and had to sit at a big table all together, I always sit on the end because...am I going to be able to comfortably sit between two people?  It's hard to pick clothes now because my body is different.  Is this going to look good on me?  Airplanes...I try to avoid them ever since the one time I had to get a belt extension on a plane with a high school girls basket ball team.  My seatmate so kindly told her friend I had to get one, who told her friend who told her friend and soon I spent a three hour flight with a bunch of looks.  One time I had to fly after that and I told the attendant I was pregnant so I would probably need an extension.  She acted like it was no big deal and slipped it too me discreetly, I found that hilarious.  Booths at restaurants...am I going to fit and be comfortable?  Is that big enough for me?  When I was pregnant I got so big that I couldn't fit in Waffle House, IHOP or the local pizza places booths.  I do now but the memory is still there.  Is my son going to grow up and say 'I don't want too be fat like you mommy.' like my sisters kids do?  NO it won't because I will be smaller by then and healthier.  He will remember his mommy active and not skinny but healthy.  You can't shop at the same stores as everyone else.  My dream is too be UNable to shop at Lane Bryant.  I want to be able to grab cute shit cheap like everyone else size 14 and under.  When your overweight it's all about can't.

Not anymore, now I am working too I can, I will and I did.

Weighty Wendesday!

Short and sweet because Flabby has some things to do today...laundry, child time and returning raspberries.  I bought them yesterday, brought them home and one is moldy!  Eww!  Lesson learned to check my berries!

Weight 317.9 which is a loss of... .5 lbs

Neck 16...same
Bust 43.5... -.5"
Waist 48... -.5"
Hips 58.75... -.25"
Arm 20... -1"
Thigh 32... -1"
Calf 21... same

So that's a total of .5 lbs and 3.25" which is AWESOME and suprising because Mother Nature and her gift of bloat arrived a few days ago!  WOO!

FMB Tuesday!

HELLO!  If you stopped by, I'm a new blog, 20 something working to lose 170 pounds.  If you want to keep up with my progress and encourage me follow along!

If you would like to participate in this meme then go here and link it up!

Flabby

Motivation.

Do you ever wonder why we lose motivation?  Is it that things are too hard?  Unsupportive spouse?  Lazy?  There are lots of things that make the weight loss journey long and difficult but the goal is not too give up.  I have been heavy most of my life and I can easily say that what has worked against me is self sabatauge.  I will inevitably make myself fail so that I can prove I couldn't do it.  In my heart I know that I can but it's going to be a slow, sometimes seemingly unrewarding process but it will be worth it in the end.  My brain says who cares whether you are fat or skinny?  Your husband can't keep his hands of of you and you love it.  Yes I do love that my husband can't keep his hands of me BUT I do not love it.  I feel gross, fat and disgusting somedays.  If I'm a little bloated (like today, thank YOU mother nature for bestowing gifts) I will get depressed.  Before you go all 'oh I'm sure your pretty'...I am.  However, lately I have been having more and more ugly days.  More and more I notice the extra weight.  More and more I see myself becoming a big ole fatty and you know what it makes me want to do?  Find a damn cookie and eat it, then find more.  I am really working hard on not being an emotional eater and doing what needs to be done.  Sometimes it's difficult because it's such a natural thing for me to do.  Bad day...ice cream.  Good day..pasta.  After a week of 'good eating' I would give myself a 'treat' usually outdoing all of the work I had done.  That was the old me. 

The new me says...I WILL do this.  I will lose weight and live a 'normal' lifestyle.
The old me would say...who's going to know if you cheat? 
The new me says...I will know and I don't want to feel guilty anymore.
The old me used to feel guilty for eating, that since I was already so large I didn't need anymore food.
The new me will eat when hungry and eat things that are good for my body.

My next post will be weigh in number 3 and then I think I will do a post about what life is like as an overweight person.  People who have never been even a little weight do not understand.
The old me can go get bent while the new me finds her way out!

#2

Maybe we should just start to make this Thursday weigh in! 

Sorry the posts are sparse, I write another blog and there is a lot going on over there with Mission Monkey and Daffys sister and I'm just really more focused on that.

I worked out once this week, I feel like I failed myself but I have been flat out exhausted between baby, husband, family and other things I haven't found the time.  I realize that now that I'm a parent that will happen a lot more but I really need to focus on taking even 15 minutes a day for myself to work out.  Even 15 minutes is 15 minutes.

The number is:
318.4 which is...a loss of .4 lbs
neck 16  -.5"
bust 43.5  -.5"
waist 48.5  +.5"
hips 59  same
arm 21  same
thigh 33  same
calf 21  same

Total -.4lbs and 1"

Slow but I was ok since I barely worked out and have been stressed! Woo!

Follow Me Back Tuesday!

Found this new link up and decided to participate!  If you would like to link up then just go here!

I've been very tired this week and the next weigh in is tomorrow!  More then!  Busy, busy, busy!