Sunday, May 30, 2010

What It's Like Overweight...

I know alot of people do not have sympathy for fat people and believe me I get it.  Most people ate themselves huge and who can they blame but themselves?  Some people are just bigger no matter what they do, but by 20 pounds not 100s.  I have never been the stereotypical fat person.  I didn't sit around all day stuffing my face with cake or eating three pizzas.  I ate more then other people I realized eventually but I just usually didn't feel full.  Even now I rarely feel full but I feel satisfied.  When I was pregnant I ate a lot of sweets and that has carried over too now but not tons.  When I used to get depressed or sad I would eat a lot but only if it was there.  If I made a pan of brownies I could and usually did eat the pan by the end of the day.  If I had promised my then boyfriend brownies I would make another pan and pretend I never made the first one.  I was really in a strange place with eating for awhile and then I went to the extreme end and stopped eating and now I'm trying to do things the right (and very slow) way.

Back on topic what is it like for us fatties.  Everything is about what you can't do.  When I go places with chairs in the waiting room I wonder can I sit there?  We went out to lunch today and had to sit at a big table all together, I always sit on the end I going to be able to comfortably sit between two people?  It's hard to pick clothes now because my body is different.  Is this going to look good on me?  Airplanes...I try to avoid them ever since the one time I had to get a belt extension on a plane with a high school girls basket ball team.  My seatmate so kindly told her friend I had to get one, who told her friend who told her friend and soon I spent a three hour flight with a bunch of looks.  One time I had to fly after that and I told the attendant I was pregnant so I would probably need an extension.  She acted like it was no big deal and slipped it too me discreetly, I found that hilarious.  Booths at I going to fit and be comfortable?  Is that big enough for me?  When I was pregnant I got so big that I couldn't fit in Waffle House, IHOP or the local pizza places booths.  I do now but the memory is still there.  Is my son going to grow up and say 'I don't want too be fat like you mommy.' like my sisters kids do?  NO it won't because I will be smaller by then and healthier.  He will remember his mommy active and not skinny but healthy.  You can't shop at the same stores as everyone else.  My dream is too be UNable to shop at Lane Bryant.  I want to be able to grab cute shit cheap like everyone else size 14 and under.  When your overweight it's all about can't.

Not anymore, now I am working too I can, I will and I did.

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